


That Damn Summer Camp fic

by Mozzarella



Series: That Damn Summer Camp AU [1]
Category: Dark Avengers (Comic)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Gen, Summer Camp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-23
Updated: 2014-05-23
Packaged: 2018-01-26 04:51:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1675370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mozzarella/pseuds/Mozzarella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summer Camp for Akihiro turned out more interesting than he thought. </p><p>Featuring Camp Counselor Norman and his 12-14 year old band of misfits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a LOOOONG time ago. If you're gonna take this seriously, you're really on the wrong side of AO3 ;)

  
“This is punishment, isn’t it? Personally, I think this is a little childish by your standards, daddy.”

 

“I’m not the one acting like a child here, Hiro. It’s only for a month, anyway. You’re a smart kid. I’m sure you’ll find a way to entertain yourself in four weeks.”

 

“Or he’ll be eaten by bears.” Laura piped up calmly.

 

James ‘Logan’ Howlett shook his head. “Your brother won’t be eaten by bears, Laura.” he said patiently. “You’re right, Logan. I mean, dad. He’ll probably kill the bears before they eat him. Or they won’t like his taste.” Laura said.

 

“Shut up, Dorkbag.”

 

“You shut up, Dipwad.”

 

“You both shut up or I’m leaving you on the side of the road.” Logan almost growled that statement.

 

“Yes daddy.” the two murmured complacently.

 

 

 

The camp was sickeningly bright when they arrived. Counselors were directing the various ten to fourteen year olds to the mess hall, kids were saying their goodbyes or good-riddances to their parents. It would be a whole month until they’d be seen again, hopefully without any permanent trauma.

 

Akihiro pretended to be affectionate towards his father and adoptive (he never forgot to remind her of that fact, although Laura seemed immune to the emotion most ten year olds would get lost in) sister, automatically getting him the approval of two of the counselors. Too easy.

 

Goodbyes (good riddance well-disguised) were said, and Hiro made his way to the hall like the rest of the campers, already catching glances and full stares for his hair. At twelve, hair like his had the tendency to mark him as the bad kid, but he’d never had a problem charming people into thinking otherwise if he wanted it.

 

“Watch it, newbie.” one of the bigger kids muttered as they passed through the arched over doorway. Akihiro ducked to the left as he whipped his foot out, tripping the hulking thirteen-year old and slipping past unnoticed, leaving some sad, scrawny boy to take the blame and the possible beating.

 

“Smooth move there. Did you grow up in the circus, or were you secretly forced into gymnastics by your mom as a kid?” a girl with blond hair, tied in neat pigtails commented. “My mother is dead.” Hiro responded. They stared at each other blankly before the girl stretched a hand out professionally. “My name is Karla. Karla Sofen. I am going to be a doctor one day.” she informed.

 

“Akihiro. Cute that you think you’ll get to be what you want when you grow up.” he responded dryly, pulling his baggage along the farther aisles. Cliques were gathering, people gathered together in a familiarity Hiro had no part of. They must have been going to this camp for a while now, and he was the shiny new kid. Yipee.

 

“I will be. At least, better than my mom could do.” Karla said, her no-nonsense tone leaving no room for debate. “By the way, if you’re new, you could sit with us.”

 

“Who’s us, and why would I want to sit with?”

 

“Interesting people. And you fit the category. So unless you want to be the shiny new kid all week, come on.” Karla beckoned, nodding her head. Weirdly enough, her pigtails didn’t make her look any less mature. By the way she was acting, it seemed like she already considered herself an adult.

 

So long as she didn’t irritate him, she was fine.

 

When they arrived at the table, Akihiro noticed one thing in common with all the kids situated in that spot.

 

They were all weirdos.

 

Hooray. Karla was playing psychiatrist and bunking with the crazy ones. Well, down the rabbit hole and all that.

 

Akihiro sat down on the long bench, beside a kid who had ridiculously sharp teeth, biting down on a sandwich of who knows what. “Here’s the whole crew, then. This is Mac, over here,” Karla gestured to the kid beside Hiro. “That’s Noh. He’s scary fast when it comes to the camp tasks, but he’s shy.” A light haired kid shrugged.

 

“That’s Bob.” Karla said. The blond boy didn’t even look at him, but something told Hiro that he might not want to know what was up with Bob. “John.” the big looking kid wore a shirt that spelled out ARES in bloody letters. Akihiro stored that away for future reference.

 

“And Lester.”

 

The kid smiled maniacally, glancing at Akihiro as he flicked a teaspoon in some other direction, getting a distinct “OW, MY EYE!” from the next table.

 

“All you screwballs, this is Akihiro. The newbie.” Karla said.

 

“You sure know how to pick em, Karla.” Mac said from behind his sandwich.

 

“I really do, Mac.”

 

The activity of the mess hall was interrupted by the announcement of the camp moderators. They outlined the basic rules, welcoming newcomers and welcoming back regulars, a practiced speech that Akihiro grew bored of easily. He absently watched Lester flick peanuts at the kid in the next table with practiced accuracy, smiling smugly when Lester caught his stare.

 

He flicked a peanut in Akihiro’s direction, caught by surprise when Hiro caught it clean between his teeth.

 

“And I’m sure you’ll all enjoy the upcoming weeks. Now, on the subject of bunking, each of you will find your cabin assignments on the bulletin board outside the hall. After dinner, you can all pack it in and get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow’s a big day.”

 

Lester muttered something to Karla, to which she just laughed. “Well yeah, of course he’s good. I wouldn’t have invited some loser around. And Mac doesn’t count.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“You’re recruiting.” Akihiro realized.

 

Karla winked. “How else will we beat the butts off the other kids? Hiro, you have no idea how right they are when they say it’ll be a fun week.”

 

And somehow, Akihiro believed it. This was definitely going to be an interesting month.


	2. Chapter 2

The room assignments were being posted when they arrived outside. Karla was smiling like she knew something they didn’t, and knowing Karla over the span of an hour and a half of dinner, she probably did.

 

A red-haired counselor posted the last set before people clamored to the signs, some girls and guys looking excited that they’d been roomed together. Akihiro noted irritably that he was to room with Mac Gargan, and interestingly enough, Lester. Robert Reynolds was their fourth, and in the very least, Akihiro thought, he was quiet.

 

“All right everyone, here’s the deal. Tomorrow morning, the counselors will be expecting us to form teams of seven. Don’t go running off if you want to be on the winning team. And yes, Mac, I mean ours.” Karla said authoritatively. They were walking in the dark, with a few novelty torches lighting their way. They arrived shortly at a junction and Karla said her goodnights.

 

“Like I said. Tomorrow, early, go.” she bade.

 

“Charming.” Akihiro murmured. “She is, right?” Mac said, oblivious to his sarcasm.

 

Lester snorted. “You’re all idiots.”

 

“Not me.” Hiro said shortly, smirking when Lester, and Mac, looked confused.

 

They arrived at their cabin, dragging their things up the old wood steps. Their other roommate, Bob, was already in the room, sitting at the edge of his bed, deep in thought, in such a way that signaled the other three to leave him alone. Preferably forever.

 

“I claim top bunk.” Hiro said, pulling himself up so quickly that the others had yet to process what he’d said when he already had his things bunched together on the mattress. “Hey, how come you get top bunk?” Mac argued. Hiro looked down, then beckoned for Mac to climb up. He scootched over when Mac arrived, then said, “This is how come.”

 

Promptly, Mac was pushed off the bunk. Fortunately for him, he landed on his side—possible fractures aside, he at least didn’t land on his head or his back, which at that height might have caused some more permanent injuries. For all that, all Lester could do was laugh.

 

“You’re a psycho, Akihiro!” Mac whined, nursing his—fortunately, only—bruised arm and side. “Well seems like no one minds if I get the other top bunk.” Lester observed when he realized Bob’s things were at the bottom of the bunk bed adjacent to Hiro’s.

 

Mac was about to say something, but then thought better of it and shut his mouth.

 

“We should go to sleep. It’s lights out in a while.” Bob said suddenly. None of the others had anything to say to that, but the sentiment was well-shared.

 

Bob was creeeepy.

 

That night, they tucked in, wondering what insanity they’d be treated to tomorrow.

 

 

Akihiro honestly thought that the stupid trumpet thing was only in the movies, but apparently, that was exactly what they played to wake the campers up in the morning. He stuffed his ears like Mac did in the bunk below him, but unlike the other kid, he was already up and ready, years of discipline training him not to be idle.

 

“Golly, is it morning already?”

 

He didn’t know what bothered him more; the fact that Bob was talking to him in that off way of his or that the blond had just said ‘golly’. “The rules should be posted on the door right now. I’ll go check.” Hiro said placidly.

 

He took the paper stuck to their door and something from the wood frame on the outside of one of the windows. “It says we have an hour between the horn and breakfast, so we should take a shower before then.” Hiro said, kicking Mac’s bed to wake him up and nudging Lester’s side before dropping what he found on the window right on top of his head.

 

“What the—HOLY CRUD, IS THAT A SNAKE?”

 

“Wake up, dimwits. First day. We don’t wanna be late.” Akihiro ordered. Ever since the night’s ordeal, Mac was wise enough not to argue when Hiro told them they needed to get ready to go to the shower room in the next ten minutes.

 

Lester threw the reptile at Akihiro’s head. With his aim, it would have caught, if Hiro hadn’t ducked fast enough. “Don’t be a baby, Mac.” was all the half-Japanese boy said as he bounded out of the cabin while Mac cried helplessly when the snake wrapped itself around his head. “It’s not poisonous. Maybe.”

 

~~~

 

The campers were lined up near the lake with their respective counselors. Karla was waiting for them, looking for all the world like she owned them, but the look was only a meager mirror of the one their counselor was giving them.

 

Red hair, cut in ways they didn’t want to know about, wearing the basic counselor’s clothing but looking ten times more threatening than any of the other adults; the man looked more like a gang lord than a volunteer moderator for a summer camp.

 

The nametag on his chest cheerfully proclaimed “Counselor NORMAN” followed by “Osborn” in smaller, no-nonsense red text.

 

“Are these the new recruits, Karla?” he asked, in the same tone as those war generals in the movies, with a smile that could easily be translated into a snarl. Akihiro stood expressionlessly, Bob looked like he was ready to follow orders, Lester looked mildly amused, and oddly, so did Mac. Noh looked a little confused, but mirrored Bob’s demeanor. John (Ares, they thought of him) looked disciplined, looked like he was expecting a war, so basically, he looked like he always looked.

 

“Good, good. Well, obviously, each of you has a certain skill, otherwise you wouldn’t be in my team. If any of you disappoint me, I promise you you’ll be at the bottom of that lake before the day ends.” Norman said, in an even, cheerful voice. He could well have been saying “You can come to me if you have any problems, I hope you enjoy this summer” if you didn’t catch his words.

 

“Recruits? Are you even allowed to manipulate who you get as camp kids?” Akihiro asked off-hand. “It’s not a matter of what I am allowed to do, Akihiro, it’s a matter of what I  _can_  do, and I assure you, I  _can_ do things that none of the idiots who run this camp even have a clue about. Do I make myself clear?” Norman said, in the same tone, except with a harder edge to it that would’ve been imperceptible to a dumber kid.

 

“Yes, sir.” Akihiro said agreeably. Maybe he should have just gone to boot camp like Logan had suggested earlier. Then again, boot camp wouldn’t have been this interesting.

 

“So we’re playing little army to you, now, Mister… Norman?” John asked, almost certainly but still carefully, as if testing the waters. “That is exactly what you’ll be doing, John.” Norman said. “Sounds like fun.” Mac piped up.

 

“If you do your best for me, it will be the most fun you’ve ever had.” Norman said cheerfully when one of the head counselors passed close by, checking off the kids per counselor. Lester smirked, same with Karla and Hiro.

 

“So win.” Norman said shortly after, as the kids were then being lined up to receive their schedules. “What if we don’t?” Noh asked. “Bottom. Of. The lake.” was the only response he was given.

 

~~~

 

“I’ve got archery with Lester after this, then crafts with you and Noh, then swimming after lunch…. what kind of responsible camp counselors would have kids swimming after lunch?” Hiro wondered as he walked with Karla to the music room.

 

“The kind that want to train our world’s future bulimics, if they’re lucky enough to hack it up before they have an early experience with surgery.” Karla said, following the small group into the old room. Most of the instruments were beat up, but functional, and they had a decent-looking piano in the corner, so Hiro predicted that it wouldn’t be too bad, the music class.

 

It wasn’t—it was more entertaining, in fact, when a kid a little ways to his left actually swallowed a piccolo. Karla was a genius at everything but music, Hiro noticed, and he moved as far away from her as subtly possible, which was not very much, to the horror of his ears.

 

“You can’t have everything.” she’d say later, when class ended. “Is that what the last person who had to listen to you play say to you when they had to cut off their ears?” Akihiro asked casually, smiling at Karla’s scowl.

 

He was commended later for his skills at the piano, and caused one particular idiot to fall into a tuba when said idiot tried to trip him. By the time he reached archery, Hiro counted at least five people already grudging against him for various things, never really knowing how obvious they were in their failed attempts to hide it.

 

“This is stupid. Archery, and they don’t even let us use the stinking equipment.”

 

“I’m mourning for your loss right now.” Hiro said sarcastically while the counselor in charge of their set was advising everyone on putting safety before shooting.

 

He and Lester were sitting in the back of the ‘class’. Everyone was on the ground, some listening intently and others were goofing off, getting told off every odd minute for talking too loudly or, in one case, being too affectionate to each other.

 

“I’m betting you already know how to shoot, then.” Hiro said, phrasing his question in a statement. “I only actually used the bow and arrow one time, last year, but that crud’s kids stuff.”

 

“Huh. Prove it.” Hiro challenged. Lester raised an eyebrow at him. “We could sneak to the equipment room and get the stuff. It doesn’t look like we’re gonna do anything else for the next hour anyway.”

 

Lester looked at the instructor, then shrugged. “If we get caught, I’m blaming you.”

 

 

They almost got caught, later, when the instructor led the rest of the kids to the target area later. Akihiro had heard them coming and pulled Lester behind some trees, leaving the counselors to wonder how three of their arrows had been split in half by three more.

 

“Okay, admittedly, that was pretty cool.” Hiro whispered.

 

“Hey, when it comes to shooting, I always hit a bullseye.”

 

“Niiice. If I could do that, I’d be pretty pleased with myself too. I guess we know who’s gonna win the archery competitions in the games.”

 

Lester sat down, breathing a sigh of relief at not getting caught.

 

“Mister Norman’s a little crazy, I think. Always wants to win. He’s kinda more like a politician than a camp counselor.” he said insightfully.

 

“Yeah. I mean, it makes sense. Crazy counselor for crazy kids.” Akihiro said, watching their group move a little closer to the trees while the counselors were trying to figure out the mystery of the Robin Hood shots.

 

“You know how we know we’re crazy?” Lester continued, playing with an arrow he’d swiped from the set.

 

“Hm?”

 

“We have the most fun.” was his finish as he threw the arrow precisely. It hit a carving four trees away, something like S+T encased in two circles.

 

“Yeah, well Norman’s gonna let us have our fun at the bottom of the lake if we get in trouble. Come on, Lester.” Hiro pulled him by the arm just in time, slipping them both to the back of the group while no one was looking, just as their instructor announced that a roll call was being made to check on every camper.


End file.
